Vienna

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Woke up in palatial digs in this nutty Czech town and decided to take in the sights.

Gardeners at Charles Bridge...
Gardeners at Charles Bridge...

Mr Benny was feeling not so well due to his recent tooth surgery, so off he went to the dentist. Now we are like free little children running amok along the cobblestones! A few touristy shots:

Ant just had to have the Steven Seagal sketch--he claims him as Father!!
Ant just had to have the Steven Seagal sketch--he claims him as Father!!
Pettin the dog on the Charles....
Pettin the dog on the Charles....

Roasted pork knuckle before meeting Mr. Anthony......
Roasted pork knuckle before meeting Mr. Anthony......

...and after!
...and after!

After the afternoon of being ugly Americans in Europe (well, ugly Candians—that was our story, brother!), we met back up with Mr. B and back into ol orange…..

Another long ass drive outta Germnay, through Slovakia and into Austria.

The sun flowers of Slovakia....
The sun flowers of Slovakia....

A funny funny thing: Due to the painkillers, Benny did not even remember driving us the five hours! Wheee! Isn’t that how Metallica became a three piece over here??

Got to Club Chelsea in Vienna and was met by Rainer of Seven Sioux. Watched their set and became instant fans! Well, no wonder: RAiner tells me later he stole half his stuff from us, but the joke’s on him: We stole all our stuff from the Clash and episodes of Banana Splits, baby!

Kimm and Rainer
Kimm and Rainer

Fun set, but lemmee tell ya it was a bit balmy up on the stage…….see if you can get a sense of our smell in these photos:

Onstage Vienna...get that mirrored ball movin!!
Onstage Vienna...get that mirrored ball movin!!

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Chatted the night away with our new pals and then hit the streets for that late night sausage. Anthony has vowed to stay on this diet even when he returns home, setting the alarm for 3:30 am every night for a döner kebap!!

Bonus outside the Kebap: As we chewed on our wurst, witnessed a small black man chasing a terrified large white man into the streets! Payback for recent facisms or just a goold ol drug deal gone awry? Never got the chance as they took our half full beers to use as weapon.
And although tempted to join the delicious street fight, decided perhaps best to go to the hotel and sleep. Alf is still protesting this decision. Tomorrow back into Father Germany and onto Frankfurt……

Back to sleep my flying monkeys...the orange van awaits you tomorrow!!
Back to sleep my flying monkeys...the orange van awaits you tomorrow!!

Prague

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Breakfast in Berlin back at Wild of Heart after a late goodbye to Mr Jay.

..just like the Last Time I Drank cover!!
..just like the Last Time I Drank cover!!

No, this wasn't breakfast, but deserves a photo!!
No, this wasn't breakfast, but deserves a photo!!

That's breakfast---!
That's breakfast---!

It’s laundry day, and a fond farewell to all of the ghostly pasrasites that have been haunting our damp suitcases.

Goodbye my little sea monkeys!  Goodbye!!
Goodbye my little sea monkeys! Goodbye!!

Finally hit the road for Czech, got into town 7:30pm and had to hit stage by &:45–curfew, don’t ya know!

I  give up, people!  Take out the trash!!
I give up, people! Take out the trash!!

The merch table....Kronen only pleasen!!
The merch table....Kronen only pleasen!!

Caught up with our new pals in Mouthguard, them strapping Australian lads with the old school sound that drives us to the beer!!

Yeah!  look at the size of these Aussies!
Yeah! look at the size of these Aussies!

Mrs. Gardener is in town now, so a little feminine sense to help out with this crazy sausage fest……..back to the hotel and onto Vienna tomorry.

Show day Berlin

Up and at em in Berlin, I believe it is Monday, and the cold gray sun rises in a direction we are not at all used to……Perfect!! Let’s move….!

I'm outta here!
I'm outta here!

Hmmmmm....I suppose this could be avertising any number of products, hmmm?
Hmmmmm....I suppose this could be advertising any number of products, hmmm?

Over to the Wild at Heart and met Uli and Leah, the great hosts.
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An actual soundcheck, then dinner at the club restaurant, and over to–yes—another hostel!!

Kimm's getting used to this, I can tell....!
Kimm's getting used to this, I can tell....!

A lil nap, a lil shower in the community bathroom, a lil pulling disgusting clumps of hair off my feet, and it’s showtime! Met up with a Mr. Jay Lansford, he of the famous 1990 defection. Jay has lived in Hannover for years now, but still looks every bit the Sunset Strip rocker he ever was!!

Ja, but who is dis Lemmy you keep calling me?!
Ja, but who is dis Lemmy you keep calling me?!
Kimm meets up with the Simpletones.....
Kimm meets up with the Simpletones.....

Great great gig, we just were blown away by the great crowd for Monday night…called Jay up to join us for a grip o songs, it coulda been 1984 on the Whisky stage!! Late night snacks, back to the hostel and onto Prague tomorrow!

Day off! Berlin……

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First we take Manhattan, etc etc…

We jump the first train to Berlin and are immediately kicked out of First class…..apparently, these people don’t realize who they are dealing with! We tried to tell them we were in Agent Orange, that failed as well….

Oh, they're happy guys...they just don't always show it!
Oh, they're happy guys...they just don't always show it!

It’s been ages since we’ve been back to this nutty town, and for our money, it was a lot more fun when the wall was up…. That did not stop us from slumming around the Eastern Bloc and selling counterfeit Marlboros!! I love this place!!!

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Anthony and Alf, being exhausted by this constant abuse, demanded their own hotel rooms…..what those boys do when they are by themselves I do not know and do not want to know. Checked into the Berlin Mark and hit the gray streets……

...Please!  Let us stay in your nice rooms with the clean, clean linens!!
...Please! Let us stay in your nice rooms with the clean, clean linens!!

Treated ourselves to a Thai feast and met up with a few locals.

Animals!   Show us which of these dishes cosist of animal!!!
Animals! Show us which of these dishes consist of animal!!!

Tomorrow it’s Wild at Heart Club, a very cool club/bar/restaurant/shop—cheers

Kiel….

So sorry to have lapsed on the telecommunications these past several days. Am now talking like citizen of the world, am deeply ashamed for the atrocities mine country committen!!
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heh—just fuckin with ya……

Hey kids-whatcha think of the new ride? Sweet, yes? We weren,t so thrilled with the Weimerweiner profiles painted on the back doors, as we are apparently now traveling through prime dog-fucking territory. But c’mon! The Quadraphenia hubcaps had us sold!!!

...and the best part?  ice cream jingle automatically starts at igniton!
...and the best part? ice cream jingle automatically starts at igniton!

Magic bus...yes?    yes!
Magic bus...yes? yes!

after a fevered night with the GG Elvis crew-and all of the bodily fluids that you would expect, it was only a short 7 hour jaunt to Kiel….road construction? of course! Why don’t they just fucking shut the autobahn down completely and make us ride donkeys to the next show!!

I think Defekt means , good boy!!
I think Defekt means , good boy!!

The music? techno..... the mood? gay!
The music? techno..... the mood? gay!

Got to catch up with the SNFU crew yet again…Mr Chi tried to sell us on the benefits of the Gouda facial, we declined….

....oh, quit complaining....you people can't even smell what it was like!!"

Kiel was kiel…..good show, good crowd, no showers going on day 3 now….I am convinced there are spore-like life forms in my underwear and socks…and the sad part? I just can’t bring myself to kill the sweet little dear things!!!! After the show I tries to convince these Puritans to drive straight through to Berlin….my request? Considered, but ultimately denied!!!!

Please!  Take me to a city vit internet and hot water!!!
Please! Take me to a city vit internet and hot water!!!

Some obligatory live shots, as apparently several of you skeptic followers think we are not actually over here….just pretending to be on tour from a sound stage outside of Tucson like the Apollo 11 moon landing…here ya go fuckers….we do this for you!!!

Yes, we are actually working people!
Yes, we are actually working people!

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Riesa….

IMG_4044What can ya say? They call Riesa the Chino Hills of Germany, and it’s no wonder! After grabbin up the blonde guitar guy at the hamburg airport, it was a smooth little 7 hour jaunt to this nutty town–apparently, all of Germany is under construction!

Pleasantly surprised to find the club an isolated rec center out in the farm lands…..Met up with the fellers from GG Elvis, and the obvious hijinks followed….

went with clothes on....!
went with clothes on....!

Question! What do you call it when it feels like meat, but does not taste like meat? We call it dinner over here, and I belive we went the whole day without eating an animal…grrr—we’ll get em tomorrow!

mmmm......it's all the same in or out, people!
mmmm......it's all the same in or out, people!
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Well sir, GG came on and did not disappoint…..we were afraid the clothes weren’t coming off but, oh yes…in no time we were treated to a nice portion of ass!!
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....and for breakfast tomorrow?  Stewed carrots!!!
....and for breakfast tomorrow? Stewed carrots!!!
oh, write yer own bruno joke...I'm a busy man, people!!!
oh, write yer own bruno joke...I'm a busy man, people!!!